Reprieve

A delightfully impudent book character shoves a dastardly note and drawing of her teacher into her teacher’s bag after being punished for a transgression in school that day. After dismissal – she opens her own schoolbag to find not only a note of forgiveness from her teacher, but a consoling snack as well. With that discovery, she instantly regrets her cheeky behavior and is desperate to take it all back.

Too late.

Much to my chagrin, I have been in Lily’s shoes more times than I care to remember, today being one of them.

A few months ago I ordered and received a new floor lamp for our dining room, only to discover that the design of lamp was flawed and it could not be assembled properly. Annoyed, I boxed it all up and returned it, disappointed that the lamp I had finally found to match our needs and the decor of the room was not to be.

Did I mention that in my extreme irritation I also wrote a scathing online review of the lamp?

Well, I did.

Just call me Lily.

One would think after prior regrets that I might have learned not to act in haste. I have always thought that, “Respond – don’t react,” was a very good mantra. The problem is that it rarely comes to mind in the heat of the moment.

So, back to the lamp.

Weeks went by in which time I got my refund and kind of forgot about the whole incident. That is, until I got a note of apology from the lamp company explaining their wish to send me a replacement lamp free of charge in addition to the full compensation I had already received .

Humph! I’ll see it when I believe it, I thought.

Lily strikes again.

So today, the new lamp came. It assembled quickly and easily and it is exactly what I was hoping for. Just perfect!

Well, not really. It’s perfect except for that nagging, caustic review…that nasty note I shoved into the teacher’s bag.

If only I could take it back – If only I hadn’t been so impulsive, if only I hadn’t been so righteous, if only…

Lily’s recalcitrant wail echoed in my mind:

“WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?”

Desperately I grabbed my phone to dash out another review, a glowing review, a redemptive review – a frantic attempt to undo the harshness of my first judgement.

I quickly clicked to “My Account,” clicked to “My Orders,” clicked to “Write a Review,” clicked to “Open,” and there it was – my original review, written in all of its indignation, penned in bold fury – still there, untouched and most importantly – unsent.

I HAD FORGOTTEN TO HIT “SUBMIT!”

The review had never been sent.

A tumult of relief WHOOSHED over me. In the moments that followed I wrote a thoughtful, measured, heartfelt review for the lamp and the company that stood behind their product.

I consider this merciful reprieve a plaintive plea from the universe: “Respond – don’t react!”

even in the heat of the moment.

Lily – I love you dearly, but let’s keep it fiction.

Okay?