Mute yourself!
Unmute yourself!
Click out and
Click back in!
Pull your mask up!
Please sanitize.
I need your link.
Do you have my link?
Attach the link.
Just click the link
and sanitize!
Are we synchronous?
Asynchronous.
What’s the difference?
Just sanitize.
Is this my class?
Where’s my class?
Am I in the right class?
I’ve lost my class.
But did you sanitize?
Does this sound familiar to you? A year ago we did not use this language. A year we did not have this language. A year ago seems oh-so-far away. A year ago we could not have dreamed up this reality. To say that this year is unique is probably a gross understatement. Friday will mark the one year anniversary of our altered reality at school. As a result, this banter has become our ongoing, well-worn vernacular. These exchanges are repeated so often – and we know them so well – we probably mumble them in our sleep. They do make sense in context, but out of context – and sometimes even in the moment – they are really quite hilarious.
So, while we’re still in the fray – a little self-deprecating humor never hurts. Just listen…
I can’t hear you.
Can you hear me now?
I can hear you.
Am I frozen?
You’re frozen.
Am I frozen now?
You’re still frozen.
Always sanitize.
Am I virtual or in person?
Is this A or B?
I can’t see you.
Can you see me now?
Please turn your camera on.
TURN YOUR CAMERA OFF!
Click the link!
That’s the wrong link.
THAT LINK! CLICK IT!
Why not sanitize?
And while we’re at it, do you have your:
doc cam
head phones
ear buds
wipes
divider
face shield
six-foot distancing radar
gator
and mask?
Wonderful!
Thank you for remembering,
One last thing,
Don’t forget to san-
OH, GO MUTE YOURSELF!
Just Sifting 
So true. I am amazed at how the mute/unmute phrase has emerged as a dominant set of words in our language. My 3 year old grandson told me the other day to “mute” myself because he could not hear himself think as he pretended to zoom school on an empty Cheerio box. Sigh…guess that is a blog post in itself…..
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You’ve screen-shotted our life right now so perfectly. You know, life as a teacher brings us ALL SORTS of things coming out of our mouth that we never pictured. Covid and all that goes along has taken that to a whole new level. One other thought. Have you read Paul Fleishman’s book Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices? There’s something about the dynamic of this poem that strikes me as reminiscent. Your poem BEGS to be read aloud – perhaps, even, by two voices!
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Definitely could never have dreamed up this reality. Just can’t believe school has been like this for a year now.
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yup. One day we’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny – maybe?
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Brilliant!! Don’t forget: see you in the Breakout Room!!
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I taught asynch grad courses a few years ago. However, whenever I used the words asynchronous and synchronous between 2017 (when I stopped doing them) and 2020, people looked at me like I had five heads. Now, it’s part of our lexicon.
I adore the way you captured where we have come in the past year. I look forward to the days when some of these terms fall by the way side.
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This is wonderful, Deb! You should provide us with the New New Dictionary, Unmuted and Sanitized! Thanks for the smiles!
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