My husband is the oldest sibling in his family and I am, too.
He is a full-time teacher – likewise for me.
He stayed home on day shift with our kids for seven years while I continued to teach. After school, I came home to night shift for those years while he worked nights.
What I am getting at is that we are both used to being in charge of people, we are both good at being in charge, and we probably are most comfortable in that role. All important qualifications for two teachers.
One might say that we are Two Head Chefs.
The problem is – we are married.
To each other.
Over the past twenty-nine years, this has lead to many “trials” and almost as many solutions – as one might imagine.
Eventually, we’ve congenially concluded that there are some things that we are better off not doing together if we want to preserve our union.
Let’s put these items in The Serenity Now! bracket.
There are other missions where working together as a dynamic duo works very well.
These items are in The Competent Couple 🙂 bracket.
Here are some examples of each:
Competent Couple:) endeavors are pursuits such as: walking the dog, doing the dishes, painting a room, hosting a party, navigating to a destination (pre-GPS), and pruning fruit trees (this task recently moved from Serenity Now! to Competent Couple:) ranking).
Serenity Now! undertakings are such endeavors as food shopping, cooking, giving the kids unsolicited, off-the-cuff advice while in the same room together, home maintenance repair, and laying out new carpeting.
One might ask-
what is the difference between Competent Couple 🙂 pursuits and Serenity Now! tasks?
After careful scrutiny, it becomes obvious that the difference between the two categories is two words:
The jobs in the CC column have clear responsibilities that can be separated into sub-tasks that do not overlap.
The jobs in the SN tier have duties that are nebulous and overlapping.
In other words, we rock at things that can be sorted into individual compartments, but we are on thin ice if the job has vague responsibilities that may drift into each other. Sharing some tasks can be dicey, so when we divide and conquer – we are golden.
When we paint a room, he does the ceilings and walls with the roller and I tackle the edging and trimwork with a brush. Beautiful.
When we host a get-together, I do the shopping, cleaning, and set-up; he plans the menu and does the cooking. Bada bing!
When pruning fruit trees, he clips, and I hold the ladder. This is a big improvement over last year – don’t ask!
When we do the dishes, one washes and one dries. Presto!
On the other hand…
Nope. He takes too long and checks too many ingredients.
Nope. I take too long and do things differently.
Better off making a phone call.
As our lifetime journey continues, we encounter new things and notice what category they fall into. Maybe as we mellow with age, it will eventually merge into one big list.
But for now, this works just fine.
So, this week we are doing our taxes.